My fitness journey is nothing short of highs and lows, motivation and disinterest (aka laziness), starts and stops, weight loss and weight gains. I've never been "skinny". For all of my life, I've battled with my thickness. Though I have absolutely always LOVED the shape of my curves I haven't always liked how they looked in clothes. I've looked in the mirror numerous times wishing I could just instantly lose a little of this or suck in more of that. Sure, there's undergarments that could assist in sucking and snapping my figure into place but who wants to walk around in contraptions all day? Not I.
Being a fitness instructor doesn't make this any easier. There's an emphasis on one's size in the fitness industry rather than strength. In order to get people to follow your regimen you have to look a certain way, because that's the ideal, right? I didn't get into fitness professionally until a few years ago. So my downs definitely showed more than my ups. My fitness instructor image has to be important to others because they're wondering if I can help them achieve their own inflicted standard. If, as a fitness instructor I'm not in shape who's going to follow me? Who will take my classes, and ask me for advice. I've been thinking about it and I've concluded that many people will!
Yes, many people. Why? Well, I may not be an ideal size according to society standards, but my core is strong. I have a massive sweet tooth that I now happily curb by eating nature's candy, yet I sometimes indulge in a bowl of my favorite ice cream. Pizza crust is not my friend, but I occasionally eat it to savor the quality time with my family at the pizza shop, as my son calls it. I don't feel guilty about any of it, my doctor says I am healthy and the best part is I am happy.
In other words, I am real. I can be transparent about what I eat, when I get lazy and have to restart regimens over again. I can talk about not having time to workout because I'm helping with school work, catering to another toddler, cooking for my family, yet trying to fit in personal time with my husband. I can show that my belly bloats, yet I can still hold my own in a Pilates teaser. I can talk about how I've transitioned from processed foods to getting my entire family eating the rainbow. I can relate to others in that it's not easy to find time for self workouts. When I am teaching I am at work just like when you are at work. You just may be in different setting than I. Working is the time that I devote to giving you what you need, not the time to focus on me.
I'm working on losing some pounds but only to get an ideal that I set for me. Each of us know what's going to keep us going, help us wake up with one less crick because to some extent it's inevitable as we age. I'm not looking at any restarts as setbacks but instead as living. I'm not stressing myself about fitting into a standard. I'm focused on showing others how to be happy with themselves and live their best life always.